Science, Magic and a dash of Ninja

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

the path less traveled by?

One wonders at the meaning of such a statement, at such a meaning to that poem. A path less traveled by, does that mean by people like me, or by people in general? One would have to have a pretty wide scope of humanity to gather that meaning.

In my most recent (as of this post) experience, it was the final of a path along the path of the Darkside. Along the path possibly, one in the "Light" would consider not necessary, but there are some things that must be experienced, and others, not. This last one was one that was not necessary. In part. It was merely a repeat, a ditto of a past experience. It was the duplication that should not have been necessary, one would think. But the first time, it was just that: a first experience. All judgements and decisions were only based off of one time. Therefore one would think that an affirmation of a previous thought would be enought to quench a curiosity.

Though i realize now that this is not a sequel, but a third in a series, to a degree. It was only my failure, as i see it, to make the proper decision with the second one(incident) that brought another situation of the same magnitude around! But in finality, it is the results that matter, not the details of the repeated scenario. This time around, it IS final. I say this not to anyone else, but to myself. An affirmation. A decision. An end. (this is the shift from the need to have experience, to a state of being with more Faith (in oneself, or what have you). I realize now that was my mistake in the beginning, all those years ago. Lack of faith. The experience, though it could be argued as not a Total loss, was still possibly not necessary. More risk lies with Abstinance, as i have learned, than with apparent risk. I am glad to have learned this, and move on.

The darkside is gone. It has totally been nullified. (outside of the memory of the experience. I am not sure where that falls, as still a part of me that is dark, as if the past is still present, or if memory in itself is separate from sides, separate from being either light or dark. Or more likely, a part of me, and therefore, subject to my decisions, ie, subject to how i choose to be, as they are my memories, and thefore part of me.)

That path has gone, i recognize it as a memory, but i have recognized the need to move on.

There are those few who i will share this with (outside of the vagueness, that is). Both are a part of me. And i feel that both of you know who you are. (Though i doubt one of them is reading this)


the past sleeps, i remember my dreams as if i was awake, i live. I am the future. I am now.

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