Science, Magic and a dash of Ninja

Tuesday, June 15, 2004

late night murmurings of an estranged mind

(added afterwards: if Lauren is reading, its nice to see you found my new journal/blog! let me know before u leave town n stuff, and i haven't been showing up at karate due to my shitty skin. really harsh lately.)

just finished book 5, order of the pheonix. (well, honestly i just finished getting out of the shower, which immediately followed the finishing of book 5.) oh, and i think ive found why my neck has been awry; i noticed i hang my head almost all the way when deep in thought latley, or at the computer typing late at night, or in the shower, though the latter is mainly due to me being taller than the damn shower.

i am amazed at how amazing the characters are, and its funny, some of the....the "amount" of character to these characters, i don't know what to call it, reminds me a lot of Atlas Shrugged. At least in the case of Umbridge and draco. people that should i ever meet (or anyone who acts like them) that it would be hard for me not to smash them in the face. i think its funny, actually, the only teachers that i ahve ever had a problem with are the ones who act like that....idiots who abuse their power.

of course, i don't really like the stupid immature route harry has been taking, but then again, i remember being the same way, though i think i wasn't as old as he harry is when i grew up, at least in the stubborn fashion. In many ways, i was really never a teenager in the normal sense. i never at any time thought that no one else felt what i felt or that i knew everything, or even illogically assumed things that i had no way of knowing, and then went off on a horrible tangent from that. the kind of thing that harry has been abusing in the past 2 books. and somehow, i've never been an idiot with women as harry seems to be trying to define every shitty detail of the male stereotype. though i crept eerily too near the "woe is me" thing, i never got too close in a serious fashion. meh. then again, im not normal and i don't have much of a normal life, at least normal as defined in what i have peiced together from what other people tell me their lives are like. or maybe normal defined as how society (or partakers thereof) imagines everyone else's life to be.

as for actual thoughts on the book, i was quite shocked at harry's response to seeing snapes worst memory, and I thought that would have at least changed his opinion of the professor, as at least he now knew what fueled the old man's crappiness. I really liked how much neville gained, and hope to see him totally destroy that evil bitch who blasted his parents. and my absolute favorite part of this book was Fred and George. Boo yeah! They are my two favorite characters. It would be Harry, but he's too immature right now, and doesn't seem to excercise decent reasoning skills, even if he is ridiculousy talented/powerful. It would be Hermione, except for her foolishness with the whole S.P.E.W. thing. she's as bad as draco is with his mud-blood thing. totally blinding herself that her opinion is right and that she knows better. Actually, Fred and George tie with Dumbledore, who in my opinion, is quite awesome. Funny beyond all reason, and still quite fearsome. I think that i land somewhere between harry and dumbledore. or maybe i just wish that i was like harry, so that that fact in someway would open up doors to adventure to me.

which leads me to my nighttime murmurings for today: the same old dribble that no matter what anyone says, even me, the existence of magic, and amazing adventures, people, creatures, you name it, but magic (of any anthropological source) does exist! i feel it somewhere, down inside where i just know things, as tested by me in previous circumstances, basically as far as i have tried it so far is a simple, erratic, sometimes vague and sometimes descriptive way of Seeing as say, a Seer would. ya know, the future n stuff. Which is as close as i've ever gotten to doing anything of the sort that my parents told me was evil, of the devil, and pretty much i shouldn't look into cuz id go straight to hell (as outlined in a currently-very-much-doubted-by-me-to-be-unedited bible as being an abomination, but that doesn't make sense at all. Using the same definitions, Jesus did magic, and if u refute that ur a dummy. you can't call two instances of the same act two different things (and widely different at that) unless you are either a moron or referring to the difference in time between the two. I've not followed my inner voice (which sounds a lot like me :) ) and talked to anyone older than myself, or of any reasonable experience in these matters, about it. I thought for a split second about talking to my parents, but laughed that off. Sure they would listen, but they would listen with their filters on and im not sure that any response would be helpful, or even nice. or even relating to what i had actually said. So far every response has either been "whoah" or "cool" or "weird", or a conjunction of any of these.

im tempted to go wander into a psychic's office and sit down and have a talk, but due to my upbringing and my own personal doubt that any psychic is actually genuine (the upbringing being that psychics are conduits of evil, though im not sure i really support this claim, i have unfortunately never met one and couldn't say)

as for a magician, the only ones i have ever seen were on T.V. and they were illusionists. Except i don't know how David Copperfield flew around that one time, id like to know if that was real, hehe.

heh, it's not like you hear about anyone doing magic nowadays. people cling to wiccan traditions like they are another answer to their empty lives. the same way many people cling to christianity, without really understanding what it is they are doing.

man, looks like ive got lots of people to talk to before i find anyone who can help me.

its gonna be really hard with all this community control coming up. damn.

my head is spinning now friend, time for me to do it in a much more comfortable position.


At June 15, 2004 at 11:26 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Fix your clock. I posted that last message at 2;26, same as this one.

At June 15, 2004 at 11:26 PM, Blogger Chris said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At June 16, 2004 at 10:12 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Harry is 15, who isn't bitchy at that age? I know I was a horrible little monster. I like Ginny, she totally came out of her shell in this book. The twins always kickass when they're around. Can't wait for Book 6.

Lauren (ur ex gf's roommate, not the karate one.)

oh, btw, I still have ur bujutsu sword, what am I suppose to do with it? I quit like a yr ago but I don't know how to give it to u.


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