Science, Magic and a dash of Ninja

Friday, January 28, 2005


^maniacal laffter^

HAHAHAHA!!! I inadvertantly did it! I snuck around you, foul sickness! Corrupted Flesh! I destroyed you from the inside this time!!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! I played your game, only to find your demise at its finish, not another step back for me! HAHAHAHAHA!!!


I excersize now, to sleep! My fist is my prayer, and my goal is my God. About-face with your torturous schemes! Unbeknownst to me, the answer was there all along. Or did i know it and not think of it? Either way, I am filled with precious, maniacal rage! Not the rage of anger, but the surge of energy one feels at extreme emotional peaks! HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I celebrate. Surely the healing proceess may be slow, for how can one battle without taking wounds? Anything less is merely excersize.

my sweat loves me. and i love you!


Wednesday, January 26, 2005

would be proud, would be loud

lauded, applauded, by his private audience
a tango with two feet admired in the mirror.

failed again. i scratched the itch when i was trying so hard.

wasn't hard enough, obviously. Who was operating the Creation Machine when i was being made, anyways? Hello?!? It says "Nothing to excess" in the manual. You gave me too much itchiness. Good job.


if i was a conspiracy theorist, i would say that this condition is manufactured by someone. My nephew has it. I think that sucks hardcore. He's a freakin baby, and his face looks like mine when i take no care of myself whatsoever. But he's a baby. Thats not cool. I mean, i don't think me being older makes it any better. Yeah. Suffering sucks no matter how old you are. Heh, i'm supposed to know better, but i scratch it anyways. I am an infant.

been practicing telekinesis. have made small progress, though i have nothing near a useful level yet. But hey, thats what i practice. Its like doing pushups.

Tommorow I...

nope, not saying that again.


Thursday, January 20, 2005

Oh oh!

have i found another? i love continuous movement, and for a moment, earlier, suspected myself of purposely choosing the wrong decisions just so that i may continue movement, even if self-defeating-esque, at least i wasn't standing still....

but am i naturally moving? I AM!! I AM naturally living, moving, making decisions! IT IS MY NATURE TO LIVE!!!


serf disciprine

i <3 the anime-makers.

i am inbetween thoughts right now. i like writing in this state. i enjoy it.

I am in love. i wondered at that part, whether it was healthy or not, considering my future plans. i agreed with a fellow's opinion that i can enjoy both, as long as i stick to both. And i realized that i felt that way before hand. Because i can love and be far away at the same time. I will have to explain part of this to a friend as well. One would almost think of that as hard, except things that are hard for the general are easy for me :) explaining my love to her might be a bit ridiculous. These are two different conversations, btw. Hayzoos Ex Kreestay, i lean my head back and smile at the thought. at least one, make that Two (Three?) know of what i speak. True Brother indeed!

I was hired by Dominoes today! I gotta go tommorow and fill out the employee package before i goto RJ Gators. I don't really want to goto Rj's, but oh well. i might as well.

Uh oh, i have come to the idea that maybe the quick reflex-esque thinking is too fast, ie, fast enough to surpass conscious self discipline. The subconscious is faster than the conscious. I HAVE DONE IT!!! I have recognized a (the?) flaw in part of me. If i were to make the conscious thought-2-action speed faster than the subconscious, it would defeat all habits. Or Would it? bother. bother poor decision making. Two voices. Bother the 2 voices. I want one voice. I want Her voice, of course, but i recognize that it would be seperate from my own, thus having 2, yet 1 internal and one external. a balance.

i am in love with too many. or am i. i am confused. i have confused myself. a possibility. SHIT! one may not want to hear about any of this. one of the two. LOL, i bet neither of them really want to hear about it :P

FUCK, a faster conscious-2-action speed vs correct (disciplined?) decision making. !!! NO, which is the correct answer? is either? damn question vs statement theory? HELP ME!!!

always...always asking for help. I feel that i am bound by an Opposite Statement rule, and that he my brother is bound by a Truth statement theory. Both of these defined as such that for me, i have to state the opposite of what i want for it to be true, and he, when he states something, it is true. oh bother my head. There are 3 there.

the 3, i feel them, sense them, in every conundrum, through every question and statement. Around every unsurety. I probably sound like a loony, which is ok, because i sound like a loony most of the time. I am in love. Love! wow!

control, supers, civil war, love, truth, reality, creation, slavery, discipline, self. Responsibility. The list in my head that swims continuously. I want to be saved, Saved, Loved, by Her, but have so far, a Her of supposed Imagination, and a her, that is awesome. indeed. and a thought process broken. an imperfect self. I am not perfect, yet. But what happens when i attain it? I will simply realize that i have not. ;) Wait, that is self defeating. Maybe...maybe strengthening is self defeating? no, thats a contradiction. Perfection as a goal is self-defeating? it sounds like it. self-defeating is suicide. its death. i wish it upon no one. I am in love. why is that popping up in the middle of this. why are my figners so slow? arg. Love vs Imperfection!!!

self-fulfilling prophecy vs The Hand That Molds You. !!!

oh no! i would choose the first......but i would choose the second.

the source, of this conundrum....oh boy, the question beneath the question is a question...

I enjoy love. :)

{smiles}----oh yes. a smile adorns my face right now :)

Saturday, January 15, 2005


well, livejournal is down, and as i didn't write yesterday, I think ill write today.

I got my captains of crush grippers in, they are quite awesome. You wouldn't beleive how hard the easy ones are! anywho...

when i called work this morning to let them know that I hadn't gotten a hold of my probation officer and that meant that I couldn't goto the meaning, they said to get on the road anyway. no thanks! id rather not risk jail for a job! moron, i swear, dave is a pompous moron. oh well.

im still rather sleepy right now, but em woke me up so i could get my laundry out of her car. That was kewl! LOL, and then she made me some tea of thestuff i got from Mrs. Mangos. So delicious!!! I gotta get my moms scone recipe so that I can make her some, i asked mum to mail it to me. She probably forgot.

well, i think ill play some RE4, goto publix, then lowes, and then to work. peace!

Thursday, January 13, 2005

News Boxer Briefs

Science, with passion, has been found. No silliness concerning large world encompassing theories, no, this is science bordering on magic. Except its science. There is always that dash of ninja.

I think I have found something amazing. Should it work completely, I will have a debt to owe that would be my pleasure to work off.

In other news, my keyboard is sticky again, i needs a new one.


Monday, January 10, 2005

one would wonder

about the mysteries of the world.

but for now, i like friends :)

must be careful, to easy to lay too many plans here....must calm down, for im not worthy....must work out, that is my channel, must grow, must learn, must let go of control...

}}smiles{{ yes, let go.....:) just enjoy life :)

oui oui my friend....right away!

Tuesday, January 04, 2005

theiferoni and cheese

yeah, im a good theif though. Thought this might be a good way to inadverntantly reply, as I have no direct means of communication, other than via someone elses livejournal. Mwahaha!

A is for age: 21
B is for booze: those watermelon puckers are like jolly ranchers.
C is for career: HAHAHAHA!!! This does not apply.
D is for dad's name: Richard Peter (then my last name)
E is for essential items to bring to a party: friends!
F is for favorite song at the moment: Ooo, Muse: Bliss is nice...
G is girlfriend: HAHAHAHAH!!! Again, does not apply...
H is for hometown: was born in Fairbanks, Alaska
I: is for instruments you play: I play guitar a lot, and im learning violin right now.
J is for jam or jelly out like: i like grape jelly in PBJ's and strawberry on my scones
K is for kids: I <3 kids, but i won't have them til later on
L is for living arrangements: living room floor of my friends house.
M is for mom's name: Bonnie Elizabeth
N is for name of your best friend: Nicholas Letosky
O is for overnight hospital stays: 11 yrs old sinus surgery, 15 or so stomach puke virus
P is for phobias: none.
Q is for quote you like: "When im good im good, but when im bad im even better" - Marilyn Monroe
R is for relationship that lasted longest: 1 year or so....
S is for sexual position: ;)
T is for time you wake up: around 3 pm right now
U is for unique trait: i have an insanely high pain tolerance, and i see things.
V is for vegetable you love: the meat-vegetable, and broccoli n taters.
W is for worst trait: poor self discipline
X is for x-rays you've had: hmm, my head for sinus's and my big toe right foot, when i shattered it.
Y is for yummy food you make: Taco stuff, and my sisters Alfredo Pizza recipe. Actually no, im a much better baker than i am dinner cook. Brownies, Pies, Cakes, you name it!
Z is for zodiac sign: Scorpio or Libra, depending on what definition you mean.

First job: Wellness Consultant, Nikken, with parents.
First screen name: Konkerer
first funeral: Grandpa (Chet)
first pet: never had one.
First peircing: my wang. I mean, i've never had one. peircing that is.
First Tattoo: not yet...soon though...
First credit card: Student Visa for euro trips
First kiss: megan robertson, first gf, 18yrs old
First enemy: Myself? nah. (have none, but shit pants at this person's answer. wonder if they are the same?)
First favorite musician: hmmm...chris tubbs? Never really payed attention to musicians before him...

Last car ride: nick ride home from work (thx buddy!)
Last kiss: Corinne, week after my birthday.
Last movie watched: Spiderman 2
Last beverage drank: water
Last food consumed: Hershey double chocolate bar n some chocolate milk, from 7-11 on way home
Last phone call: em when i thought she was at her moms and i left my keys at work and thought i might be locked out.
Last time showered: Yesterday, which is unusual.
Last CD played: Perfect Circle: Mer de Noms
Last website visited: yahoo mail, then djfran's LJ which im reading this list off of.

Single or Taken: Single
Sex: Male
Birthday: Nov 4
Sign: Scorpio according to 2000 yr old calander, was actually born under Libra.
Siblings: :P What is it, like 3 now? or 4? can't remember.
Har color: brown
Eye color: I don't know. It changes. On average it looks like green with brown exploded in the middle.
Shoe Size: 12
Height: 6'4

Wearing: my greek Asterix shirt and my flame pants
Drinking: water
Thinking about: telekinesis, and making new friends. and whether im going to call in to work tommorow.


Hugged someone? everyday
Gotten into a fight? not outside the ring
Cried? Not since my grandfather died
Smoked? once or twice, cigars on (rare) occasion
Drank Alcohol: yesh
Kissed someone on the cheek? yeppers
Reunited with an old friend? Many times
Been suspended? yep!
Let something go? all the time!
Been whipped? errr....sort of.
Learned any important lessons? every day!
Got a kiss on the cheek? too many times
Kissed on the lips? oh yes! but not anytime recently.
Considered suicide? LOL, only out of curiosity
Gone to a funeral? yes.
Had to get over someone: affirmative.
Fall in love: i'd say yes.
Cut/Dyed you hair drasitcally? HOT PINK!!! and i cut it weird all the time. and its no longer pink. but it was.
Flirted? all the time!
Been backstabbed? yeah, stupid brother. oh well!
Taken somebody's pants/shirt off? hehehe, yes!
Slept with a girl? mmmm...memories.
Missed someone? Sometimes.
Hit someone? mostly out of fun, very rarely for necessity
Lost/broke something really important? well, i can't find my Arabian Nights book my sister gave me!! WAAAH!!!
Cuddled with someone? been so long. but yes, thats one of my favorite things.
Held hands? who wrote these dumb questions? yes.
Made out? No, we rubbed elbows.
Had your heart broken? dissapointed, but never broken.
Broken somebody's heart? Ooops.....once. one time too many.
Done something you really regreted? See above. Thats the only thing. but only for part of it.
Laughed so hard that it hurt? Lots!
Cried so hard that it hurt? i seem to remember a long time ago doing that, but i might be imagining it.
Had someone tell you they like you? See Entry: Roommate, lol.
Got cheated on? Yes.
Gone on a date? affirmativo
Got dumped? for good reason (see above)
Dumped someone? dumped sounds so harsh...
Made a new screen name? once, to check to see if people blocked me.
Lost a friend? so far, only by not keeping in touch.
Gotten any tatoos or peircings? not yet.
watched porn? well, hey, i learned a lot.
Been in a love/hate relationship? what is that exactly?
Liked someone so much that it hurt? nope.
Loved someone so much that it hurt? ahhh no. except...well, sort of, but i think i make Her up in my head, so im not sure if it counts.
Been grounded? yeah.

damn that was fucking lonz0rz supremo.

au revoir, im sleepy. Arrrr!